Dr. Lynn Margolies is a Ph.D. experienced, licensed psychologist and former Harvard Medical School faculty and fellow. She was trained (internship and post-doctoral work) at a Harvard teaching hospital and has been in private practice since 1989... (Click for full article)
Dr. Margolies was trained in a broad spectrum of approaches to therapy and uses an eclectic approach. The different approaches offered by Dr. Margolies are described in the Psychotherapy section, which explains the approaches she uses, usually in combination, depending on the patient and problem at hand...(Click for full article)
A clinical psychologist is a highly trained expert of the mind and heart who understands feelings, thinking, behavior, relationships, healthy and unhealthy coping, painful and disruptive symptoms, psychological growth and change...(Click for full article)
Children can have qualitatively different attachments with each parent. Research consistently shows that a secure attachment with a parent or other trusted adult can ameliorate the effects of troubled attachments and trauma, creating new experiences and new pathways in the brain...(Click for full article)
High school seniors are often faced with increasing internal strife and pressure over which school to choose, with a complex array of feelings informing their leanings towards one school over another. Parents have their own biases and may believe they are “right” in their assessment of what school may open more doors in the future...(Click for full article)
How can parents tell whether their reactions are coming from their own unresolved issues versus “legitimate”? Clues that parents' our own issues are rearing their heads are offered in this article...(Click for full article)
As the child becomes an adult, a mother with an anxious, insecure attachment style may refuse to let go, secretly needing to remain the primary love attachment. This may not become apparent until her son find a romantic love partner and devotes himself to her, allowing a competitor to enter the scene. The situation is then often enacted in full drama around family events and holidays when the mother’s explicit demands, and [unspoken] expectation of “loyalty” (e.g. exclusive love) from her son, conflicts with his role as a husband...(Click for full article)
Recognize that, though they will say otherwise (and that’s ok), teens feel protected by limits. No one likes feeling out of control without anyone strong enough to help them...(Click for full article)
This story is about a teenager who undergoes a crisis of confidence, after her identity was challenged by a sports injury. Her resulting difficulties challenged the well-being and stability of the whole family...(Click for full article)
Difficulties with separation often are activated during developmental transitions such as the first day of kindergarten, adolescence, high school graduation, leaving home and finally, marriage. At these junctures, mothers need to step back and let go, allowing their children to mature and transition to the next level...(Click for full article)
A common denominator and basis of all executive functioning is the ability to hold things in mind, step back and reflect. Without this capacity, it is difficult to have perspective, judgment, or control. Therefore, admonishing or punishing children who are not following the rules because of limited executive function is not only ineffective, but leads children who are already often frustrated and discouraged to feel bad about themselves and unsupported....(Click for full article)
When we are more regulated, our children internalize a sense of equilibrium, ultimately learning by example, and through words, to manage their own feelings, including frustration, anger, discouragement, without becoming as overwhelmed. When children feel seen and loved as they are, not who we need them to be, we provide them with the psychological software to feel secure, value themselves, and persevere...(Click for full article)
Guilt can be used unconsciously to get loved ones to do what we want. Even though this method doesn't always produce the intended effects, we may resort to it when feeling helpless in the face of longing and disappointment...(Click for full article)
Casey, having just turned 18, is faced with suddenly being “grown up.” The more his mom tells him what to do and what he needs to learn for college, the less confident he feels, requiring him to put up a front of independence and bravado and having to argue the position that he already knows how to do everything. Unimpeded development of self-confidence and independence in children is contingent on mothers’ ability to provide a protective, but not over-protective, or obtrusive presence...(Click for full article)
Crisis forces us to mobilize - or face even greater pain, and thereby offers newfound opportunity for growth. When marriages approach destruction, the painstaking work of self-evaluation and behavior change seems worth it...(Click for full article)
Parents don’t have the power to influence whether children are gay but do have power to influence how children feel about themselves. A close relationship with parents has been found to provide the best insulation from dangers in the outside world... (Click to see full article)
Why do men so often find themselves in the doghouse with women?They try to please. They try to say the “right” thing. They do favors, buy gifts, work hard, and aim to live up to their responsibilities as a man...(Click for full article)
Failure to set appropriate boundaries in mother-son relationships often results in persistent inl-law tensions, and divisions and factions in marriages. Numerous marital problems fall into this category and can be traced to habitual boundary difficulties between mothers and sons which spill over into the man’s relationship with his spouse...(Click for full article)
Daniel’s story speaks to the insidious danger of hidden pain in teens who feel unspoken pressure to be “good” to protect their parents or make up for other family problems – however secret or veiled. In such situations teens are vulnerable to using desperate measures to escape their feelings, or break out of their concealed inner life and test their parent’s love...(Click for full article)
What should parents do when they discover that their young teen or pre-teen has been looking at pornography sites online?...And what are the potential negative effects of viewing online pornography?...(Click for full article)
As summer winds down, many parents longingly await school, but not the frustration and disappointment it brings out in them towards their kids, or the guilt over these reactions....(Click for full article)
The truth is that any marriage can be vulnerable to an affair.There are different types of affairs. They may be motivated by the need for: excitement, sex, escape, feeling desirable, emotional connection, or a vehicle to leave a legitimately flawed marriage.....(Click for full article)
It’s one thing to cope with our own tragedies by focusing on the silver lining and maintaining a positive perspective. But when someone we care about is suffering tragedy or ill-fate, understanding their subjective experience by listening carefully and following their lead can inform our sense of how to respond in a way that would be comforting to them...(Click for full article)
The essential psychological effect of trauma is a shattering of innocence. Trauma creates a loss of faith that there is any safety, predictability, or meaning in the world, or any safe place in which to retreat...(Click for full article)
Men’s need for love, support, and friendship can go unnoticed because of their own lack of recognition that they need this, leading them to participate in the development of patterns in their marriages in which they feel alone...(Click for full article)
Findings in neurobiology further suggest that whether we heal or continue to pass on our pain is determined by our capacity to know and integrate the truth of our experience into a cohesive story - emotionally and interpersonally, past and present ...(Click for full article)
There are aspects of men’s experiences that are particular to being male. In working with men, it is important for a psychologist to understand the differences in men’s experiences, what men need, and how to best help them achieve their goals...(Click for full article)
Relationships and the ending of relationships are one of the most common reasons for talking to a psychologist. When relationships end, many people find themselves overtaken by powerful feelings...(Click for full article)
Marital/couples therapy is a form of therapy which involves working with both partners of a couple to improve their relationship and/or help them make important decisions about the relationship...(Click for full article)
This is the story of a kid who feels propelled to act out- yet equally powerful is his unconscious need to get caught. Protection occurs through interested, open, informed, pro-active, non-judgmental conversation- and appropriate limits delivered in a non-punitive way..(Click for full article).
Some struggles that women experience are common to many women, and can therefore be attributed or understood in this larger context of what it means, biologically and socially to be female...(Click for full article)
