1922424 Couples Therapy | by Dr. Lynn Margolies
Dr. Lynn Margolies
617.244.2444      
An Active, Empowering Approach with Integrity and High Standards of Care
Dr Lynn Margolies Psychologist Newton Ma
Home Page psychologist brookline ma  
Dr. M in the Media psychotherapist brookline ma  
About Dr. Margolies psychotherapist brookline ma  
Approach to Therapy psychotherapist brookline ma  
Controlled By A Parent? Learn about the Psychology Behind It psychotherapist brookline ma  
Couples Therapy psychotherapist brookline ma  
Featured Psychcology Today Post: Can A Parent Have Too Much Empathy? psychotherapist brookline ma  
Featured Psychology Today Post: 5 Common Mistakes When Engaging Someone Who Won't Talk psychotherapist brookline ma  
FEATURED PSYCHOLOGY TODAY POST: Is Shame Good or Bad? The Effects of Shame and Guilt psychotherapist brookline ma  
FEATURED PSYCHOLOGY TODAY POST: Should You Punish Bad Behavior? The Answer May Surprise You psychotherapist brookline ma  
Men's Issues psychotherapist brookline ma  
Relationships psychotherapist brookline ma  
Teen Digital Stress: What do parents need to know? psychotherapist brookline ma  
Therapy 101- A Primer for Consumers psychotherapist brookline ma  
Trauma, PTSD psychotherapist brookline ma  
When Going Along With the Crowd Means Violating Your Values psychotherapist brookline ma  
Women's Issues psychotherapist brookline ma  
ALL PUBLISHED ARTICLES psychotherapy brookline ma  
   

 

Couples Therapy

by Dr. Lynn Margolies

 

Marital/couples therapy is a form of therapy which involves working with both partners of a couple to improve their relationship and/or help them make important decisions about the relationship. Couples enter into therapy for many reasons, often at a time of transition or stress in the relationship or in their lives. Couples may come to counseling at a time of crisis, for example, following an extramarital affair, or when one or both is unhappy in the relationship or may want to leave. However, some couples use therapy before getting married or early in the marriage in order to learn skills to resolve conflicts and differences, or to recognize potential vulnerabilities in the relationship, with the goal of preventing problems later on and protecting the relationship.

Other issues which may lead couples to seek help through therapy include: anger/resentment/lack of communication, trust issues, fighting, upcoming marriage/wedding/commitment, fertility issues, midlife crisis affecting one or both partners, illness: physical or psychological in one or both partners (e.g., depression, history of sexual/physical abuse), moving, parenting/family difficulties, in-law problems, religious/cultural/value differences, sexual problems.

In couples therapy both partners meet together with the therapist, who initially tries to get an understanding of each of them, their views and feelings about the relationship, and what they each want from the relationship and the therapy. The therapist also uses her own observations of the way the couple interacts in the session to evaluate what happens between them and determine how to best help them. The therapist understands that relationships and people are complex. Problems that develop within relationships involve an interplay of the personalities and life circumstances of each individual to varying degrees, as well as what they bring out in each other when they mix together.

To improve a relationship, the therapist may work on helping each of the individuals as needed, usually with the other one present, in addition to working on the relationship and changing problematic patterns which have developed between them. Individual and couples issues affect one another. For example, when one partner is depressed and despairing, the mood of the relationship is affected. Similarly, when the relationship is in trouble, one or both partners may become depressed.

Common tasks of marital/couples therapy are as follows: to develop better communication, resolve trust issues, manage anger/differences/conflict, determine whether the relationship is salvageable, learn fair fighting skills, enhance intimacy/sex, heal after an affair, change destructive patterns, improve understanding of one another and oneself (including understanding gender differences that affect behavior and communication, and learning how to translate the other’s “language”), increase empathy for one another, and repair/strengthen the relationship by healing old wounds. Entering into couples therapy is an act of courage and offers the possibility of freeing oneself and the relationship from tedious and/or destructive patterns of relating, as well as hope of greater intimacy, happiness, and/or peace/resolution.

 

To see other similar articles, click on the following links: Relationship Issues

 
Copyright © 2004 - 2024 by Lynn Margolies, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.
Dr. Lynn Margolies * 53 Langley Rd., Suite 210 * Newton, MA 02459 * 617.244.2444
        Skilled, respectful, empathic, strong, open-minded, caring, supportive